Hey Russia

I decided to do some research on who reads my blog and discovered that I can actually see what countries of the world read my blog. This is especially helpful in knowing who is NOT reading my blog because it means I can continue to blog freely, something that will be very helpful in about a month.

Not surprisingly, my blog is read most frequently right here in America. Thanks, America, for your continued faithfulness to me in spite of my frequent comments of adoration about Canada, and my propensity to leave your beautiful shores whenever possible. I am truly proud to be an American, unless America re-elects the man who is trying to turn America into Canada, in which case I am just going to move to Canada. But that's a different blog for a different day.

What was surprising was to discover that after America, the country that reads my blog the most by a landslide is Russia. What? Huh? Come again? This stunning revelation is worthy of its own blog post. So, Russia, this one is for you.

I've been wracking my brain for the last 48 hours trying to remember if I even know anyone who lives in Russia, and I can't come up with anyone who does. So, if you're my good friend reading my blog in Russia, I'm really sorry that I don't remember you at all. Send me a message, let's re-connect.

It's shocking to me that for every Canadian who reads my blog, there are 3 Russians who read it. Or one Russian who reads it three times for every one time a Canadian does. Ironically, Canada isn't even third on the list. No, third on the list is Germany. I can only hope that it is Dietrich Bonhoeffer reading my blog from the grave. I love you, Dietrich.

Canada is actually 4th on the list. Really, Canada? I thought we knew each other better than that. But I digress. This blog is not about Canada, it's about my surprise Russian fanbase I had no clue I had.

I do want you to know that I know some Russian words, including nyet, dos vedanya, and gulag. I will try to be more sensitive in my blogging going forward and include these words when it makes sense, such as, "I remember that time that I was imprisoned unjustly in that Russian gulag." So far, that doesn't make sense for me to blog about, since it hasn't happened yet. We can only hope.

So whoever you are, loyal Russian readers, thank you for taking the time out of your busy Russian days to read my blog. I hope you are bundled up nice and warm. I get cold just thinking about your homeland.

 

I'll leave you with this thoughtful sign someone hung up in my cubicle awhile back. From now on, whenever I see it, I will think of you.

When a wasp stops being a wasp

Every year around this time, when the temperature drops to the 30's and 40's at night, and the leaves turn yellow and fall off the trees, the wasps start dying. They find their way into my house, through the fireplace, through cracks in the door, through secret entrances into my warm house that only they know about.

They can't fly anymore - the cold is more than their little bodies can take. Everything that makes them wasps disappears. So they roam around the floor until they just give up and die. I find little wasp corpses in corners, under chairs, and pressed up against the wall until the end of November or so.

Last night as I was getting ready to take a shower, I saw a wasp in the corner of the bathroom, grounded, obviously on his last leg. He wasn't a threat but I hung my clothes up a little higher than usual just to be careful. As I showered, I thought about how in different circumstances, such as the wasp being healthy and angry, it would be very different to be cooped up in a small room with one. Scary, nerve-wracking, and maybe even deadly to some people.

But not now in this situation. It couldn't harm me unless I went out of my way to be harmed, such as trying to pet it or maybe put it in my mouth, as my cats have done and learned the hard way that a grounded wasp can still be a dangerous wasp. This particular wasp was dead within an hour of me finding it. Something powerful and dangerous all of a sudden no longer a threat. A wasp that was no longer a wasp.

I just finished reading The Shack for the first time about a month ago. I'm guessing there are some of you out there who read it and loved it, maybe it even changed your life. Then there are some of you who wouldn't go near it with a ten foot pole because of all of the things you've heard and read and researched about it. It's too blasphemous to even warrant a read, much like the reaction during the early days of Harry Potter. Others of you probably read it, thought it was interesting, and then didn't really think about it again.

A few years ago, I was in the camp that wouldn't go near it with a ten foot pole. But then a Great Sadness came into my life in early 2010. And just as I was healing from that, another season of loss and pain happened in early 2012. Between the two events, I had no choice but to look God hard in the face, cry to him, be angry and sad, and question much of what I had taken as truth simply because I had been told it my whole life. I needed God to be real to me after these two losses. And he was. So when I finally decided to read this book, I switched camps. I loved it and will probably read it again at some point.

If you haven't read The Shack, I don't want to give it away to you in case you do decide to someday read it. But it centers around the main character Mack having to return to the shack, which is the source of a great pain and loss in his life. When he gets to the shack, there's a surprise visitor (or rather three) waiting there for him. He's able to sort through much of his grief and find healing in unique and powerful ways. And God becomes very real to him through it.

God is sending me back to my shack. I was hoping he wouldn't, but he is. He's sending me right back into a situation that caused tremendous pain and heartache. I've spent the last week alternating between feeling fine about it and then being scared out of my mind and not being able to stop crying about it. But it is what is - I will be back there whether I want to be or not. And God will need to be real and he is going to need to be there every moment of that situation or I won't be able to do it.

The other thing that Mack has to deal with during his time at the shack is forgiveness. I grew up a Christian. I can tell you the pat answers for everything pertaining to forgiveness. But I'll tell you what - when faced with having to go back to my shack and deal with someone who crushed me, all of a sudden I realize that I don't have a clue what it really means to forgive in the way that God forgives me. Nor do I know how to do it. The anger and the bitterness and the hatred in my heart seem to be more powerful than any forgiveness I've ever known about.

But what I learned last night from having the wasp in the bathroom while I showered is that even the things that are powerful and dangerous and potentially deadly can be rendered benign in the right moment. When something loses its power, it can't win anymore. No matter how much it might try, like the grounded wasp clinging to life, it just can't win. A grounded wasp, though it still looks like a wasp on the outside, stops being what makes a wasp a wasp when it's cold, grounded, and dying.

I'm not quite there yet with my shack situation but I do know that there was a time not that long ago when the thought of going back and having to see someone I had hoped I would never have to see or talk to again would have been nothing but terrifying for me. But (I think and hope) the power has been lost now. Just like that wasp, it can't do real damage to me unless I try really hard to let it (as in putting it in my mouth. That won't be happening.) Now it's simply a matter of letting God teach me how to forgive. The wasp has stopped being a wasp.

This morning I read this:

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1:2-4)

I can't say that I'm overjoyed at having to return to my shack and all of the flood of emotions I am going to have to deal with the entire time I'm there. It will be a trial. I'm going to be angry, I'm going to have to keep a very tight rein on my tongue, and I will probably cry a lot behind closed doors. But I eagerly await and long for the perseverance, maturity, and completeness that will come because of this, and the chance to learn and see what God really means when he says that he's forgiven me.

Favorite fall recipes

Fall is hands down my favorite time of year - the crispness in the air, the warm days and cool nights, the vibrant red, yellow, and orange leaves, and of course lots of yummy comfort food. I've been on a cooking rampage for the last 8 days, as if fall is only going to last for a snippet and I need to get all of the cooking out of me before it becomes freezing cold and all I want to do is hide under a blanket and cry. In case you haven't noticed, I have a tendency towards extremes.

I thought I would share my favorite fall recipes with you, since I made almost all of them in the last 72 hours (definitely all of them have been made in the last 8 days). Pretty much all I did on Saturday was cook and it was the best day ever.

Disclaimer: None of these recipes are Robin originals. There are no Robin original recipes out there. I'm all for just making other people's recipes.

We start off our culinary adventure with Pumpkin Quinoa Soup. You can make this with either canned pumpkin or you can roast a fresh pumpkin (and you get pumpkin seeds out of that deal too - bonus! What? You need a recipe for roasting pumpkin seeds? Try this one) This soup is amazing and doesn't taste pumpkiny at all. Also, quinoa would be a great word to use in Words with Friends. You can thank me later for that hint. I guess you could make this without the quinoa (pronounced keen-wa. Now go back and reread the paragraph, pronouncing it correctly), although I've never done it that way.

Ingredients
1-2 pounds chicken sausage (I usually get a basil or apple variety at Sprouts)
1/2 onion
3 cups chicken broth
15 ounces pumpkin
1 tsp garlic powder
salt/pepper/dash of allspice
1/2 cup cream
quinoa (optional)

I usually make the quinoa first - 1 cup of water to 1/2 cup quinoa. Combine them in a pot, bring to a boil, then cover and simmer on low for about 15 minutes.

Brown the sausage and the onion in a soup pot. Add the broth, pumpkin and seasonings. Stir together and simmer on low for 15-20 minutes. Turn off the heat and stir in cream (and quinoa, if you're using it). Then invite me over for dinner.

If you do, I'll be sure to bring some Fresh Apple Cookies. The street name for this recipe is "fall in a cookie." For not having any chocolate in them at all, these cookies hold their own. And since they have apples in them, they're healthy and you can eat them for breakfast (at least that's how I justify it.)

Ingredients
2 cups flour
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 cup butter, softened
1 & 1/3 cups packed brown sugar
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp ground cloves
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1 egg, beaten (I always think it sounds so sad for the egg, as if it's been defeated.)
1/4 cup apple juice or milk (I always use milk)
1 cup chopped apples (or just one apple)
1/2-1 cup chopped nuts (optional) (I use pecans)

Vanilla Glaze Ingredients (you know any cookie that involves vanilla glaze is a keeper)
1 cup icing sugar
1 TBSP butter, softened
1/4 tsp vanilla
1/4 tsp salt
1 & 1/2 TBSP milk

To make cookies: Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Combine flour and baking soda in medium bowl. In a large bowl, cream together butter, brown sugar, salt, cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg and the poor beaten egg. Add half the flour to the butter mixture and blend well. Mix in juice or milk. Add the apples and nuts to the remaining flour. Add this apple mixture to the butter mixture. Drop by spoonfuls on greased cookie sheets and bake for 10 minutes or until cookies are firm.

To make glaze: Blend all ingredients together until smooth. While cookies are hot, spread with vanilla glaze. (I usually put a sheet of wax paper down under the cooling rack because the glaze will run). Makes 3 dozen cookies.

I'm sad that Laura, Amy, Ray, Paige, Gwennie, and I devoured all 36 of them within 12 hours of their birth. I'd like to be eating one right now. C'est la vie!

I know you're wondering what to do with the rest of the pumpkin you cooked to make the pumpkin quinoa soup. Never fear! I have a Pumpkin Bread recipe for you!

Ingredients:
3 cups flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
3 tsp cinnamon
2 cups pumpkin, canned or freshly cooked
2 cups white sugar
4 eggs
1 & 1/4 cups oil (I used a canola/olive oil blend this last time since I ran out of canola oil about 3/4 cup in)

Mix dry ingredients in bowl. Make a well in the center. Add the remaining ingredients into the well and stir just enough to mix. Pour into two 9" x 5" bread pans. Bake at 350 for 1 hour. Try to not eat the entire loaf in one sitting.

Wow, this has been a lot of writing. Need some visual stimulation? I thought so.

What could these all possibly be ingredients for? If you're thinking Potato and Leek Soup, you're pretty much amazing, just like this soup.

I'm feeling super lazy by now, so instead of typing out the instructions, I will instead link you here.  Word to the wise on this endeavor: while the above picture is pretty with the purple potatoes, I don't recommend actually using them in the soup after all. While it didn't change the flavor, it did turn the soup a really funky nasty greyish purplish color and it looked like gruel. Because I am the only one eating the soup in my house, it doesn't matter to me what color it is, but husbands and children may not like eating it when it's that color. In the past I've just used russet potatoes, as suggested in the recipe and that just keeps it a normal potato looking color.

I also made a turkey meatloaf and a parmesan and broccoli souffle (I told you I've been out of control for the last 8 days), but those were first time adventures for me and haven't yet earned the coveted "Robin's Favorite Fall Recipe" status yet. Maybe next year.

What's your favorite fall recipe?