Because Erika Told Me To: March 2013

Some of you may remember my fascination with the game Draw Something. Erika and I played that game with gusto when we first got our fancy phones last year, as you can read about here. I still play this sometimes but my attention has been turned now towards a new game, Words with Friends.

For those of you not familiar with this one, it's basically Scrabble. I was never very good at Scrabble but I've got some mean Words with Friends skills and will gladly take you ~~down~~ on. My name is rac003. Try if you dare.

I've been playing this new magical game for about seven months now and I've learned a few things along the way, mostly that there are way more words out there that I had no idea were words than words I actually know. Words that I think shouldn't be words are and get sometimes 50 or 60 points for me.

More importantly, I've learned what words are not actually acceptable words, and that's what this post is about. I know a lot of you stay up at night pondering this, so without further ado, here are words without friends.

We'll start with what I think should be an obvious one. As an Android user, I wholeheartedly agree with this, but it's good to have the backup support from Words.

Sorry Iphone users.

I know we're only just at the beginning of this blog, but you already may be feeling the urge to laugh out loud. I'm going to caution you against that. Here's why.

I'm still going to LOL. In your face, Words with Friends!

As you know, I like to travel. In fact, this is my first Saturday at home since February 9. But Words with Friends has some things to say about countries and places of interest.

This probably comes as no surprise:

Au contraire, WWF, Cuba is a magical land filled with exceptionally acceptable cigars and rum drinks.

But before you get too cocky about your own motherland, keep this in mind:

If only America and Cuba could realize how much they have in common. This simple realization probably could have averted the entire Cuban Missile Crisis. Too bad smart phones hadn't been invented yet. LOL.

This next one might hit a little too close to home for some of you. It did for me.

I can almost see the hundreds of thousands of husbands out there fist pumping the air on this one.

The great thing about Words with Friends is that you can play it with your friends and also total strangers. However, there are a few people you should not attempt to play Words with Friends with, as they are unacceptable.

Sorry, ObiWan Kenobi, you're not my only hope.

We just lost the battle for Middle Earth with this one.

Name it and claim it, Words with Friends.

Yes, boner is acceptable. Barbie is not.

Next we move on to what I call the "it" words. I strongly feel that when playing Words with Friends, I should be able to add the word "it" to a verb to make a longer and better word. The game does not agree with me on this point, as evidenced by these failed attempts.

"What did you do with your stuff?"
"I boxedit."
"That's unacceptable."

"What did you do to your leg?"
"I strainedit."
"Oh no you didn't. That's unacceptable."

"What are you going to do with that Cuban cigar?"
"I'm going to suckit."
"That's unacceptable on so many levels. Haven't you been paying attention?"

Words with Friends can increase your level of enjoyment of your existing relationships, especially if you win against your loved ones on a regular basis. But here are some words to avoid when talking about relationships and dating, as they are unacceptable.

As in "That girl ain't nothin' but manbait."

And then there's this classic:

You got that right.

Let's switch gears and talk about something near and dear to all of our hearts - animals. Words with Friends has some strong things to say about what counts as an animal and how to best care for said animals.

Your seaclam may be your best friend but Words with Friends finds that unacceptable.

And what if your crab gets sick? Don't even bother trying to take it to the vet, because as you can see:

This one is especially dear to Paige's heart. She will probably never read this blog, but in the slim chance she does, she will feel justified to know this.

That's chicken to you, not chix.

Not surprisingly, Words with Friends offers some counsel on parts of the body and things related to its care and clothing.

That's right. I just indirectly used the word "tatas" in a blog post. So unacceptable.

Next time you're walking around and your toe feels like you strainedit, it's probably just a toejam. Put some Bengay on it. Oh wait...

After a long winter of staying out of the sun, I start to look like this.

So unacceptable. Get some sun!

And next time you're getting ready for a date with your manbait, make sure you don't put one of these on.

It was also unacceptable that Eric got 72 points on his move to jump into the lead. But I digress.

Finally, Words with Friends has some thoughts on how to handle holidays and other special occasions.

You all know the words to the classic tune, "We Wish You a Merry Christmas," and may even LOL when you get to the verse about figgy pudding. Here's what Words with Friends has to say about that.