The proposal

I'm down in Haiti and have been for 6 days now. It's still a little surreal to me that Eric proposed last week but I've loved wearing his ring this week, especially when I got some proposals from some Haitian guys when I was at the hardware store yesterday.

I got on a plane about 40 hours after I got engaged and haven't had a ton of free time but have a few minutes now and thought I would jot down the proposal story for you.

I'll confess - we did things way out of order. We picked a wedding date, booked our honeymoon, and I even bought a wedding dress weeks before he proposed. I knew he had a ring and I knew it was coming but I just didn't know when. And I also knew that my life is always crazy with coming and going and once the summer started rolling, I wouldn't have much time to do those things.

I honestly didn't think he would do it before I went to Haiti. I had hoped he would but had resigned myself to waiting until sometime in July when I was back and I was OK with that.

But he had something else in mind.

I spent Tuesday, June 18 up in Estes with Eric, his sweet daughter Anya, and his parents who were in CO for the week. They were staying in a little cabin with a beautiful deck right over the Big Thompson River just outside of town.

We (all 5 of us) spent the day picnicking in Estes, eating Dairy Queen ice cream cones, and taking a pontoon boat out on Lake Estes. Anya was ecstatic when her grandpa let her drive the pontoon. It was an awesome day, very relaxing and a good introduction to Eric's parents, who I hadn't met before.

We took everyone back to the cabin around 4:00 and Eric suggested we have some Robin and Eric time on our own. I was convinced he wasn't going to propose until July so I was completely oblivious and not suspecting anything. He suggested we go up into Rocky Mountain National Park and walk around Bear Lake. I thought that sounded like a great idea.

I will mention that I did watch him back at the cabin to see if he went into the bedroom to put anything in his pocket. I was secretly hoping he would propose :) But he didn't even go into the bedroom before we left for our alone time.

Little did I know he had been carrying the ring in his pocket all day!

We got up to Bear Lake and there were about a gazillion people there, but we still managed to break off from the crowds and as we starting walking around the lake, he motioned to a little side trail that went down to the water. There was a bench there so we sat down and just enjoyed the view.

I was resting my head on his shoulder, feeling grateful to have him in my life, when he gently slipped his arm out and started sliding down on one knee to the ground. He said, "I'm sure you knew this was coming," but I didn't! I was stunned as he took my hand in his hand and told me he loved me and asked me to marry him.

I exclaimed "YES!" and threw my arms around his neck before he even had a chance to get the ring out of his pocket. I will never forget that moment of anticipating seeing my ring for the first time. I had asked him for a pearl ring with small diamonds around it because I love pearls and pearl is my birthstone, and I think they are very classy and beautiful. Also, with as much as I travel to poor areas, I wanted a ring I could still wear that didn't have a huge diamond attached to it. I'm also a pragmatist at heart, and while I know Eric would have gotten me a big old diamond if I had asked for one, I also feel like there are more useful things that much money can be spent on. I wasn't comfortable having something super flashy on my hand when I spend time with people who struggle to know where their next meal is going to come from.

So Eric brought a beautiful pearl ring out of his pocket. It's sitting in a setting of white gold with 25 tiny diamonds encompassing it, so it still sparkles in the sunlight. My favorite flower is a sunflower and this particular ring was called The Sunflower Ring on the website he got it on, which confirmed to him that it was the perfect ring for me.

I love how he took the time to even find that kind of detail in this ring. It very much reflects his tender heart towards me and his desire to know and understand me. It's one of the many reasons I said yes without hesitation.

We spent a few more minutes at the lake, I cried a few joyful tears, and we returned to the cabin where his parents were making us all a delicious steak dinner. They were in on the proposal and did an amazing job not letting on.

Anya is pretty excited we're getting married, as evidenced by the picture she presented to me when we first met, a picture she drew of me as a bride and her as the flower girl, although she wasn't sure who the groom was in her picture at that time. She's been anticipating this news for weeks and is ready to be the most important flower girl in the wedding (there are several others in addition to her.) She was dismayed that we hadn't already gotten married in the two weeks that went by when she didn't see me.

I let her try the ring on and she squealed and jumped around when we explained to her what it meant. I am just as excited to have her in my life from now on as I am to have Eric.

We've picked October 12 for our wedding day, because that will be the one year anniversary of when we were introduced to each other on eharmony. We're still figuring out the details of the day but most likely it will be a small wedding in Nebraska.

I continue to be humbled by how God has so graciously granted this desire of my heart that I had long given up hope of happening. Eric matches me in ways that no one else ever has and even though we are also very different in some ways, it's undeniable that God is joining us together.

I'm so grateful for him and eagerly anticipate spending the rest of life with him, and I love the wonderful and beautiful surprise his proposal was!

A post for Marta

I'm grateful for the people who wistfully remember that I use to blog with some regularity and then entreat me to try again. That happened just yesterday with my friend Marta, and so today I will write, with her particularly in mind.

As always, I have a plethora of reasons why I haven't blogged, and yet many of them are reasons that I should have continued to blog, even in the midst of the busiest season I've ever experienced.

I should have blogged after Jessie and I went to Puerto Rico together right before a Lifetree Adventures mission trip there back in February. We enjoyed four glorious days together, full of plantains, rich conversation, and maybe a pina colada here and there. It was a much needed time of connection for both of us, a recalibrating and looking with anticipation to all that the future was brimming with in both of our lives, sprinkled with a twinge of sadness that we are now separated by 1200 miles and not able to be more closely involved in all that's going on in life.

I should have blogged about my time in Haiti at the end of March, about the countless miracles we witnessed, and the raw closeness of life and death that go hand in hand each day there.

I should have blogged about seeing Farah again while I was in Haiti, and about getting to meet sweet Alora in Toronto the following week, a little girl whose life I prayed for while she was still a tiny little baby in her mama's womb.

I should have blogged about trusting God in midst of upheaval and change when my leader at work gave his resignation a couple of weeks ago, on the same day that I heard about the tragic death of a young man whose family is forever etched in my heart.

I thought about blogging about all of those things, but I've been trying to just stay afloat in the middle of way too much traveling, and blogging was a luxury I haven't quite been able to get to.

But mostly, I should be blogging about Eric. In His mysterious ways, God chose to give birth to a sweet and unexpected relationship during a time when I barely seem to remember where I live, in the middle of coming to terms with the likelihood that I would just be single for the rest of my life and feeling pretty content about that.

I even told Penny when she dropped me off at the Vancouver airport on Jan. 16 for my flight home that I loved my single life and that a guy would just wreck it.

10 days later, Eric changed my mind.

Let me back it up a little.

At the end of last summer, I realized God was clearly telling me to stay right where I was (I had been praying about moving overseas) and with that came the thought that if He was keeping me where I was, maybe He would let me fall in love.

The problem was that I had very little access to quality single men. With my traveling, I'm usually gone at least 1-2 weekends a month. I go to a super small church. I haven't clicked with any of the single guys where I work. These factors make dating a bit tough. I've tried eHarmony throughout the years, so I decided I would give it one last go. I had just seen two of my friends find their husbands through eHarmony, so it seemed like a reasonable outlet to try yet again.

Two months later, after countless mini-heartaches and dead ends, I remembered why I hate eHarmony and internet dating in general. It's an awful lot of investment of time and money with very little return. While it's a great idea in theory, it can be incredibly disappointing when you invest and then come up even more empty-handed then you did trying to find someone in person.

So I decided to quit trying. On a Thursday, I put a little note in my profile that said I love to play Words with Friends and invited my matches to start a game with me. I knew I wasn't going to renew my subscription and I didn't want to put my email address in my profile, so Words seemed like a good alternative to meeting someone. I gave my username and decided to just see what happened.

The next day, on a Friday, I was matched with Eric. A few hours later, he started a Words with Friends game with me. I was matched with dozens more guys after him, but he was the only one who took me up on the invitation to play Words. He was equally fed up with eHarmony, and even more than I was, because he deleted his profile the day after we were matched. He probably subconsciously knew he didn't need to look anymore after he found me :)

I look back on those three months where we played Words with Friends and got to know each other through the chat feature of the game as an incredibly sweet gift. We were both so worn out by the search for a romantic relationship that we just needed space to be ourselves and have a like-minded friend.

I learned about his job as a rural pastor in Nebraska and his 4 year old daughter from his first marriage, his thoughts on God and faith and the messiness of divorce when you're in full time ministry, and he got to learn about my new niece and all of the places I was traveling while playing Words with Friends with him (I've played games with him from four countries, one US territory, and five states over the last 7 months).

We had three months of no pressure, no strings attached time to get to know each other through the wonders of modern technology. And when he finally asked to meet me at the end of January, I was nervous but also felt like I was going to see an old friend. We clicked immediately, and while he had to wait 7 weeks between date 1 and date 2 because of my hectic travel schedule, we both agree the wait was worth it.

Eric far surpasses anything that I could have ever dreamed up on my own when it comes to a significant other. I told him on our second date about the guy who broke my heart just over a year ago and how much I felt used by him even though he was only in my life a couple of months, and Eric took me in his arms and whispered in my ear, "You are a treasure and you deserve to be cherished." And cherish me he does.

I have never once had to question or doubt his heart for me. He has made it abundantly clear from the beginning (when we finally met in person) that he was serious about dating and he was serious about me. He goes out of his way to do little things like open the car door for me and leave me little love notes around my house for me to find after he goes home. It's the little things that make a man great, and he is a great man.

I'm grateful that for the most part, I've been spared the landmines of premature romantic relationships. I haven't dated much and I have very little baggage when it comes to the opposite sex, but I still wish that I could go back in time and just tell my younger, impatient self to just calm down, that it would all be ok, that there are more important things in life than just finding a mate, and then when the time was right, it would be well worth the wait.

I wish I could talk to the Robin who spent many hours in tears, convinced that God had forgotten her, and just tell her that was so far from the truth that it's laughable now. God absolutely remembered her and had a perfect plan that He would unfold when the time was right. That God saw the unspoken longings of her heart, and in His time He would be faithful to meet them.

I think if I had had that understanding of God and His timing and understood how magnificent He truly is in all that He does, I would have lived the last 34 years with a bit more abandon. I would have been more daring with the free years and invested in those around me with greater depth instead of worrying about where I was going to meet my husband. I had moments and even weeks and months where I lived life like that, but for the most part, I didn't.

And now Eric is here and it seems as though life has blurred by very quickly and the one thing that I thought would never happen is going to happen and life will be forever changed. And I couldn't be happier at the thought.

I remember telling him in one of our first chat conversations during a Words with Friends game that I was really worried that a guy would wreck my life. He told me that you know you've met the right person when they enhance your life and help you to thrive instead of wrecking things. He was absolutely right. I wasted a lot of energy pining over guys who would have just wrecked things instead of getting to know the God who formed my heart and trusting that He had a good plan.

So what I would say to you, Marta, and to all of the other single women out there who may read this - I have no clue what God's plan for your life is. I don't even know what His plan for my life is, although He seems to be giving some fairly significant indications of what He's doing. But I do know this - He cares about your heart very much. He cares about it way more than you give Him credit for. He sees every tear you've ever cried about being single and He's been present at every moment as a single woman that you've loved and enjoyed. He is constant even when you go up and down. He is patient when you are impatient. He is steady when you are conflicted. He is worth your full devotion as a woman, single, dating, or married.

Trust Him. Take each moment that you have as a single woman and learn who He is. Invest in the people around you. Travel. Enjoy rainy and sunny days. Laugh. Laugh some more. Cry. Be fully present in each moment you're given and don't reach impatiently for a future that is not yet here. If it's meant to come, it will come at the right time and it will be well worth the wait. And don't give your heart away to someone who will not cherish it. The man you are meant to be with will come looking for your heart and he will win it. You don't need to throw it at someone who is not going to treasure it the way God intended for it to be treasured. You are much better off living your life as a single woman than you are living with someone who does not treasure you.

So, that's the tip of the iceberg of all that has been in my heart and mind these last few months as I have been traveling the world, savoring all that God has put before me, and falling in love. I'm slowly but surely getting caught up on life again and hopefully will be better at blogging. I love to write about life and life is finally getting back to a pace that I can follow.

Thanks for asking me to write. I pray that God touches your heart today in a way that reminds you of how precious you are to Him.

Words Without Friends

Some of you may remember my fascination with the game Draw Something. Erika and I played that game with gusto when we first got our fancy phones last year, as you can read about here. I still play this sometimes but my attention has been turned now towards a new game, Words with Friends.

For those of you not familiar with this one, it's basically Scrabble. I was never very good at Scrabble but I've got some mean Words with Friends skills and will gladly take you down on. My name is rac003. Try if you dare.

I've been playing this new magical game for about seven months now and I've learned a few things along the way, mostly that there are way more words out there that I had no idea were words than words I actually know. Words that I think shouldn't be words are and get sometimes 50 or 60 points for me.

More importantly, I've learned what words are not actually acceptable words, and that's what this post is about. I know a lot of you stay up at night pondering this, so without further ado, here are words without friends.

We'll start with what I think should be an obvious one. As an Android user, I wholeheartedly agree with this, but it's good to have the backup support from Words.

Sorry Iphone users.

I know we're only just at the beginning of this blog, but you already may be feeling the urge to laugh out loud. I'm going to caution you against that. Here's why.

I'm still going to LOL. In your face, Words with Friends!

As you know, I like to travel. In fact, this is my first Saturday at home since February 9. But Words with Friends has some things to say about countries and places of interest.

This probably comes as no surprise:

Au contraire, WWF, Cuba is a magical land filled with exceptionally acceptable cigars and rum drinks. 

But before you get too cocky about your own motherland, keep this in mind:

If only America and Cuba could realize how much they have in common. This simple realization probably could have averted the entire Cuban Missile Crisis. Too bad smart phones hadn't been invented yet. LOL.  

This next one might hit a little too close to home for some of you. It did for me.

I can almost see the hundreds of thousands of husbands out there fist pumping the air on this one.

The great thing about Words with Friends is that you can play it with your friends and also total strangers. However, there are a few people you should not attempt to play Words with Friends with, as they are unacceptable.

Sorry, ObiWan Kenobi, you're not my only hope.

We just lost the battle for Middle Earth with this one.

Name it and claim it, Words with Friends.

Yes, boner is acceptable. Barbie is not.

Next we move on to what I call the "it" words. I strongly feel that when playing Words with Friends, I should be able to add the word "it" to a verb to make a longer and better word. The game does not agree with me on this point, as evidenced by these failed attempts.

"What did you do with your stuff?"
"I boxedit."
"That's unacceptable."

"What did you do to your leg?"
"I strainedit."
"Oh no you didn't. That's unacceptable."

"What are you going to do with that Cuban cigar?"
"I'm going to suckit."
"That's unacceptable on so many levels. Haven't you been paying attention?"

Words with Friends can increase your level of enjoyment of your existing relationships, especially if you win against your loved ones on a regular basis. But here are some words to avoid when talking about relationships and dating, as they are unacceptable.

As in "That girl ain't nothin' but manbait."

And then there's this classic:

You got that right.

Let's switch gears and talk about something near and dear to all of our hearts - animals. Words with Friends has some strong things to say about what counts as an animal and how to best care for said animals.

Your seaclam may be your best friend but Words with Friends finds that unacceptable.

And what if your crab gets sick? Don't even bother trying to take it to the vet, because as you can see:

This one is especially dear to Paige's heart. She will probably never read this blog, but in the slim chance she does, she will feel justified to know this.

That's chicken to you, not chix.

Not surprisingly, Words with Friends offers some counsel on parts of the body and things related to its care and clothing.

That's right. I just indirectly used the word "tatas" in a blog post. So unacceptable.

Next time you're walking around and your toe feels like you strainedit, it's probably just a toejam. Put some Bengay on it. Oh wait...

After a long winter of staying out of the sun, I start to look like this.

So unacceptable. Get some sun!

And next time you're getting ready for a date with your manbait, make sure you don't put one of these on.

It was also unacceptable that Eric got 72 points on his move to jump into the lead. But I digress.

Finally, Words with Friends has some thoughts on how to handle holidays and other special occasions.

You all know the words to the classic tune, "We Wish You a Merry Christmas," and may even LOL when you get to the verse about figgy pudding. Here's what Words with Friends has to say about that.

I'm not going to go until I get some.

Feeling hungry? I know what would hit the spot.

Just kidding. That's unacceptable.

Gorge yourself at your last Hogfeast? No problem. Just go to CrossFit and do some of these.

Oh wait, that's unacceptable.

In closing, I'd like to give a couple of special shout-outs. The first is to Canada.

You'll always be acceptable to me, hosers.

And lastly, to my loyal and anonymous Russian fanbase:

The game said, I didn't. Don't kill me.

Other people's children

Everyone always says children are a gift. But to a single woman whose chances of having her own kids have pretty much gone out the window, other people's kids are maybe the greatest gift of all.

I have the blessing to somehow have the love of 6 children, and the honor of being able to invest in the lives of 4 more through organizations like Compassion International.

All in all, my 10 kids are in 6 different countries and only 2 of them live close enough to me that I get to see them about once a week. But they are constantly in my heart.

There's Rose who is 17 and lives in Haiti. I've never met her but I've been sponsoring her for about 6 years now. Sometimes I get letters from her thanking me for the goat I gave her for Christmas or her birthday. I get the sense that out of all of my kids, life is hardest for Rose. She is only in 5th grade and she implores me in all of her letters to pray that she will be smarter. I tell her in my letters to keep trying, to not give up, to not get pregnant and to stay in school. And I pray for her, probably more fervently than I do for the others.

Next is Graham. He's 16 and he lives in Canada. I'm visiting him this week. I've known Graham since his mom was 12 weeks pregnant with him. Yesterday I watched him drive a car, all the while thinking of the little baby who used to crawl after me wherever I went when I was 17. My bond with Graham is strong and I am so proud of the young man he's becoming and that he still lets me hug him.

After that comes Thomas, also Canadian. He's 14 and he has the unique distinction of also being my godson. I'm not totally sure what that really means, except that I try to stay on top of his life and ask him questions and pray fervently for him too. Not really a hugger at this stage, but he did let me hit his arm when I got here on Thursday. Thomas is creatively brilliant. He designs and builds things and has been that way his whole life. And he is always up for adventure.

After Thomas is Estrella. I think she just turned 12. She's one of my newest kids and she lives in the Dominican Republic. I started sponsoring her right before I went there in November and got to meet her when I was there. I don't know much about her yet, but my heart has never been so full as it was when she was playing the recorder for our group with the other kids and she kept popping her head out from the back row to make sure I could see her. Then she came and found me and stood snuggled against me for the rest of the time we were there. She's a bit sassy, I think, in addition to sweet, which make her a girl after my own heart.

Dylan is next. He's 11 and the youngest of the Canadian boys. When they moved here he was only a year old and I was convinced that any kind of relationship with him would be a long shot because he didn't have memories of me the way the older boys did. But Dylan has been a delightful surprise. We have been blessed with an incredibly sweet relationship that confounds all logic. Out of all of the boys, he is the one who wants to Skype throughout the year and the one who snuggles with me the most and who plays games with me and tells me he loves me about 20 times a day. He is my heart melter.

Next up is Mariceli. She is 10 and she lives in Peru. I met her about a year and a half ago while leading a mission trip. She's the girl equivalent of Dylan when it comes to heart melting. She only speaks Spanish but that doesn't stop her from calling me every few months and chattering to me about her life and her dog and her family. She told me to never forget her when I was leaving and so far I haven't. It is a unique privilege to have been given the gift of her love and I've been touched to see how her parents also recognize the sweet bond we have and they make the financial sacrifice to let her call me every once in awhile. She was a sweet surprise to my mix.

Next up are Laurette and Farrah. They aren't twins but they look like they could be and they are both 8 years old. Laurette lives in the Congo and Farrah lives in Haiti. I am helping both of them go to school. They are still young and full of hope but both face incredibly overwhelming futures and obstacles. More than anything, my prayer for these baby girls is that they will be spared rape and molestation and AIDS, even though the odds are not in their favor. My heart often feels heaviest for them.

Gwennie comes next. She's 3 and hands down the light of my life. Her mom texted me yesterday to share with me that Gwennie had just announced that , "I love Daddy, I love Mommy, I love myself, I love Robin, and I love my doctor." What an honor to have made that list! Gwennie lights up the room and it is no small thing to have been blessed with a secure place in her heart. She also is the chief recipient of lots of international toys. It's good to have a child to buy things for when I'm out of the country.

Last but not least is my new niece Sophie. She will be 11 weeks on Monday and she doesn't have a clue yet who I am but she is quite content to sleep in my arms. Her birth defined me in a new way. She made me an aunt, something I have never been before.

My friend Candace got to meet Sophie the other day and she remarked that it's so important for children to have an adult in their lives who adores them and thinks they're awesome and who is not one of their parents. But I think it's even more important for that adult to have those kids.

I'm pretty sure I would be a lousy parent. I'm impatient and selfish and independent, and it's possible God has not been amiss in not giving me my own. But I love that He has given me other people's children to love and know and invest in. And I love that other people let me love their children.

"He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap; he seats them with princes, with the princes of their people. He settles the barren woman in her home as the happy mother of children."  - Psalm 113:7-9